the SAHM.

I have been thinking a lot about what it's like actually being a stay at home mom.
I had a chance to speak with a friend recently about this very thing, and I realized I don't get to stop and think about this very often.
Well, yes, I do think about it often as it is my life day in and day out, but really think about the blessing of it as well as the hard parts.
I'm not sure why I am writing about this but I feel prompted to, and often that prompting is from the Lord saying, "Go ahead, do this!"
Being at home.
Hmm.
I have been home now a little over 2 years. I'm a "new" stay at home mom if you think about it. I don't have years and years under my belt yet. I love to think back to the point that started this all for us. When Jonah and I sought the Lord for an answer and felt clearly that it was a big YES for me to stay home. I wrote about this here.
What is it like to be a stay at home mom? it's a blessing, it's a calling, it's a tremendous gift to me.
Is it hard? yes, there are hard times.
Do you miss other people (adults)?  no, there is freedom to meet and talk with fellow mom's and friends.
Do you miss your job away from home?mm, not so much.
Is it hard to make it on one income? is anything too hard for the Lord? indeed there are sacrifices you make, but He is FAITHFUL to provide where He has called you.

These are typical questions that come to mind, and I had all these questions before I actually was at home.
Now I can think of these questions:
Is there anything else that is more fulfilling? living in the calling God has placed on your life is THE most fulfilling thing. 
Are you receiving blessing upon blessing simply by watching your very own children grow and learn and play and love you? yes, yes, yes.
Is your heart feeling overly full on some days? how can it not?
How do you find that there is more to give on the days you are nearing "empty"? I am reminded God's grace is like an ocean, and fills me up again and again, praise Him for this!
Do you see the heart of God in the daily role of being a mom? Of loving your family? Of doing all you can to make your home a loving, safe, God loving place? over and over.
Are these days going entirely too fast sometimes? yes, yes, yes.
Can you still remember those days out in the world working? yes, still do, but not often.
Do the harder days outweigh the lighter ones? many times over.
Is it worth it?
That last question is really it. Is it worth it? I want to shout out, HOW IS IT NOT????
But I can just quietly say in the blog world, yes.
It is worth it to wake up and have two little ones seeking you to pick them up, to care for them, to love them. To have love given back when you never deserve it. To watch them grow and see into their hearts moment by moment. To teach them what it looks like to love, to serve, to pray, to be a friend, to encourage, to clean, to work hard, to live this life with a heart bent on loving Jesus.
Because I get to be the one that daily shows them a small part of WHO Jesus is, and what His heart is, even if I know I fail again and again. I get to be the one to sing with them and cheer for them and laugh with them over silly,silly things, and I love it. 
So I say if you are questioning yourself about being a stay at home mom, I am reminded again to say that God is faithful in every single doubt and fear you have. If He has placed a calling in your own heart for this, He will provide, and get ready to have your heart filled up and overflowing. 
It's worth it.  

the weekend

So this weekend was busy, and we thought maybe it would be a costly one too.
First I planned out my grocery trip using my list from my 2 week meal plan. I then figured out how much I thought we'd spend overall. This was after I had researched what was on sale at the stores I would shop at, and what coupons I would be able to use for items on my list. Normally I would not want to spend time shopping at various stores, but because we live sooo close to 2, and because Jonah was home with Oliver, it was worth the travel to different stores. I also recently discovered the joy of Aldis. If you have an Aldi near you I would encourage you to go see what they sell. We've found some great items there with good quality (and few) ingredients on their labels. And the price was great, lower than our other grocery stores. Some great items I picked up included olive oil, cinnamon, fish (wild caught and frozen) and juice for great deals, which is their everyday price. It saved us a lot overall by adding that store into our regular shopping trips. We don't go there as often though since it's a little more of a drive.
But my estimate was around $100 for the two weeks of groceries, and guess what? I came in under that. Around $96. Amazing to me!
Really knowing where you can find things at the best price and not being willing to compromise, or by being flexible enough to rework some items in your meal plan is helpful.
I also was able to use some items we already had at home, so I didn't have to buy absolutely everything.
I may not have had a ton of coupons either, but by shopping smart I was able to get some good deals. And by deals I mean in season, or on sale items. Aldi's doesn't take coupons since all their items are their own brand, but the prices there are so low it's still worth it to add it into your trip.
After my outing, I came home to help Jonah with our washing machine. The day before it seemed to just stop after a cycle and wouldn't drain out and finish. So after some searches online for our model, my handy husband figured out how to take it apart and what pieces to search for the problem. I am amazed at how much we learned by doing this, and how relatively simple it turned out to be.
Thinking it was a clogged drain, or possibly a broken pump, we were prepared to pay for something new. After finding out the drains were not clogged (and several soaking towels later) Jonah popped out the pump to discover a wire was stuck in it. You know what that wire was?
My underwire.
Yah, I never really thought about that happening.
After a little 'ping' noise, the wire popped out and we thought that surely that wasn't the reason the whole machine wasn't working. Surely the pump must have quit, right?
After thinking this through we decided we'd at least try to put it all back together and see if it would run now. This decision was made while we were in the process of almost ordering a new pump.
I had been praying it would be a relatively simple fix and nothing too costly.
Guess what? It worked! It really was just a little wire stuck in the pump system in such a way that it couldn't turn and push the water out.
I am so grateful for how God took care of us in this situation! It's a small thing to some, but when you are living on little (in means of money) every little thing matters, and God reassured us of His provision.
I am seeing this more and more, and when I want to waver and doubt I give it up to Him again, asking for that assurance of His provision, and He answers.
I've started a list of ways He's provided and I can't wait to look back on it in a year. It's so encouraging and continually reassures me of our decison for me to stay home with Oliver.
Speaking of Oliver, today I found him sleeping in such a sweet pose during his nap. I snapped a picture of him, so that I wouldn't forget. Ahh sweet boy, how much we love this little guy!

both of his hands are up by his face, so sweet

the stay at home mom

Oh Oliver.
Looks like my hands will be full! (little stinker climbed up while my back was turned)

Last week was the first time I was officially home alone with Oliver as a 'stay at home mom'. My hearts desire was fulfilled so graciously by the Lord. He answered 'yes' to my request after Jonah and I took it to Him in prayer. He answered 'yes' in a very real and big way. It was awesome, and humbled me, to think that He does listen, and He does answer sometimes in a very big way. And He does love us so very much.
Now here I am living it out. Wow! There were moments when my brain kept skipping ahead, thinking I would have to do this or that to prepare for the next day, when I realized that I would be home to actually do that the next day. These moments happened when I thought about Oliver too. That almost too good to be true feeling that I would often dream about in the past, is happening now!
I have so many plans for things I want to teach him, train him, show him.
Now as I am getting into this new role daily, I am finding that there is one problem. No clear schedule yet.
I'm not a big schedule person- at least a very detailed exact one. When it comes to Oliver, I have always worked to keep him on a schedule and I found that this was the very best thing for him. He thrives on it. Consistency is key to happiness.
Clever hmm? I just made that one up. But really I believe it has played a huge part in his content attitude. He knows when he'll eat, when he'll nap, when he'll go to bed.
Now throw me into the equation.
What exactly do my days entail? I haven't been consistent. I have a list of things in my mind that need to be done. I have the everyday things that need to be done too. I have the list of activities I want to do with Oliver. I want to have time just playing with him. But I also want him to know that I won't be able to play all day long.
I didn't realize really how important it was to plan out things. I don't feel productive when I bounce from task to task, and don't get to finish one.
So my goal and prayer for now is to get a daily schedule. To actually write it out loosely and stick to it for at least a week or two. I know this will not only benefit me, but Oliver as well. He'll learn to go with it, just like he did for his own schedule.
Oh organization you kill me.
Perhaps this is one area that God knew I needed to work on, and now it's staring at me in the face!
So my venture begins. I'm thrilled to be there for Oliver. To be there for Jonah. In a very different way than I ever have. Opening these new doors wide open, into faith, learning and motherhood.