Changes

As I write I can hear our little Oliver grunting and mumbling out his bed time sleepy noises as he falls asleep in his crib. How precious it is to hear this through the monitor in our room. I was watching him sleep in my sweet husbands arms and it's amazing to me how much he's grown.
More so how much we have grown. Pregnancy was wonderful. I can say there were some hard times through it, but here we are on the other side and all I can remember are the special parts of it all. The roundness of my belly, feeling the little kicks and turns of my son, rubbing my belly knowing he was right there listening to me, hearing my voice and my heart beating. Knowing he was with me everywhere I went and that it was just the two of us, was pretty special. I knew that the day was coming when he would be born and I'd have to share him with the world. I was thankful for the time together. I'm not sure if all pregnant women feel that way, but I did.
But I also remember how scary it was to think about what our lives would be like after he arrived. Would we be changed forever, never to remember the days without kids? Everyone said that we would forget and never remember our lives without him. Well, I do remember the days without him. I love the days with him too. Both sides fill my heart. Of course this side has only begun. But I also think it's important to just be thankful where you are. I'm thankful for the years it was just Jonah and I. Now I'm thankful for the three of us.
I'm just grateful tonight. For my loving husband. For our son.
Life has changed us, he has changed us. He makes me love harder, deeper, longer. He makes me want to provide only the best for him. He makes me want to be a better person. He makes me forget about the superficial things in life, like perfect makeup, hair, body, house. Everything doesn't have to be perfect in the eyes of your child because they love you regardless.
I never even thought about how he would change me like this. Change for the good, change for what matters the most.
I still have my fears, of not being the perfect mom. Not being the perfect wife. Or daughter, or friend.
And I know that no one is perfect and that I'll slip up and continue to make mistakes. Yet I'm praying that I will be what God has for me to be, and to be content with that. And I know He is hearing me, and helping me to continue to grow and be the woman He has for me. And again I'm grateful.