Christmas is almost here

Last night was a nice relaxing evening...
I say this because I want to remember the memories we've made together on this Christmas 'week'. While we usually head over to meet our small group for a Bible study, last night was cancelled due to so many of us traveling. So we had some time to relax together and enjoy the quietness of the evening over a game of Scrabble. I didn't realize how long of a game it would be. We played on and off between hot cocoa, miniature cookies, diaper changes, and ended up finishing after a few hours. But we played until the end! We used every letter up! The winner was Jonah. I was surprised that I was close to his score, since his vocabulary is much broader than mine. I tend to know words, use them, and use them incorrectly or say them completely wrong. It's a habit of mine to blurt out a word that doesn't even mean what I intended it for. Then I forget and do it all over again.
But back to last night, it was nice. Hot cocoa, board game, sweet husband, sleepy baby boy, and soft Christmas lights twinkling around us was so nice.
Tonight we had Jonah's family over to visit. It was the first time his brother and his family had been able to see our new home. I made a ham dinner and we enjoyed many many sweet treats (we had so many sweets given to us this year, I haven't had to bake, and felt guilty adding anymore sweets to our plate- maybe after the holiday!) Hot cocoa was made, coffee brewed and laughter shared by all of us. It was so nice to see everyone and enjoy the time together.
This year will be a different Christmas because Jonah and I decided to spend it here in our home with Oliver. Our first time! We usually go to one parents home and spend several days there. This time we will head to Jonah's family (they are in the same state as us, while my parents are up north, sigh) after we have our own Christmas together on Saturday. It's so much different than what we normally do, but I'm looking forward to starting our own traditions together.
These traditions are growing slowly and we aren't rushing to add many to our list, but it is fun to see what others do and incorporate some of their ideas into our own lives.
It's been such a nice week though, and we have both enjoyed it thoroughly. I can hardly believe tomorrow is Christmas Eve. It's so sudden this year. I think I feel that way every year! One minute we are decorating our tree the next we are waking up to Christmas day. Yes it's how it goes, but somehow I am always left feeling not quite ready for it to be over.
I'm excited though. It's the day we remember Christ's birth. A little baby sent here to die for us. How amazing this is. Speaking straight to my heart. Having our own precious boy this year makes me stop and see Christmas in a new light. A mothers eyes are different than that of a young woman. A different love, understanding and depth fill your heart when you think about Mary having her own baby boy in her arms, knowing He was the King of Kings. What must that be like?
I look at my own little chunky boy and love his expressions, his smell, his squishy thighs, his deep belly laughs and I can't imagine knowing what Mary did.
There is a love that fills my very being for God. For the loving gift He is. How great He loves me to suffer so on this earth for me. The one question that keeps coming back to my mind is almost haunting me...what are you doing for Him?
I keep asking this, or hearing this and I am wondering just how caught up I am in the lights, decorations, cookies, family time, gifts, and on and on the list goes. Am I stopping to listen? Am I wanting to listen? Am I searching Him out, like He is me?
I keep reading what others are doing, or say their doing to keep Christ in Christmas. But it's so much more personal for me...I don't want to tell others all the things I'm doing to keep it simple, keep it focused...
I guess I just want Him to be my gift this Christmas. His love is what I want to be filled with. I think of all the things we do, and all the things we get, this one thing will be my one want, my need.