Thursday, October 21, 2010


As I write I can hear our little Oliver grunting and mumbling out his bed time sleepy noises as he falls asleep in his crib. How precious it is to hear this through the monitor in our room. I was watching him sleep in my sweet husbands arms and it's amazing to me how much he's grown.
More so how much we have grown. Pregnancy was wonderful. I can say there were some hard times through it, but here we are on the other side and all I can remember are the special parts of it all. The roundness of my belly, feeling the little kicks and turns of my son, rubbing my belly knowing he was right there listening to me, hearing my voice and my heart beating. Knowing he was with me everywhere I went and that it was just the two of us, was pretty special. I knew that the day was coming when he would be born and I'd have to share him with the world. I was thankful for the time together. I'm not sure if all pregnant women feel that way, but I did.
But I also remember how scary it was to think about what our lives would be like after he arrived. Would we be changed forever, never to remember the days without kids? Everyone said that we would forget and never remember our lives without him. Well, I do remember the days without him. I love the days with him too. Both sides fill my heart. Of course this side has only begun. But I also think it's important to just be thankful where you are. I'm thankful for the years it was just Jonah and I. Now I'm thankful for the three of us.
I'm just grateful tonight. For my loving husband. For our son.
Life has changed us, he has changed us. He makes me love harder, deeper, longer. He makes me want to provide only the best for him. He makes me want to be a better person. He makes me forget about the superficial things in life, like perfect makeup, hair, body, house. Everything doesn't have to be perfect in the eyes of your child because they love you regardless.
I never even thought about how he would change me like this. Change for the good, change for what matters the most.
I still have my fears, of not being the perfect mom. Not being the perfect wife. Or daughter, or friend.
And I know that no one is perfect and that I'll slip up and continue to make mistakes. Yet I'm praying that I will be what God has for me to be, and to be content with that. And I know He is hearing me, and helping me to continue to grow and be the woman He has for me. And again I'm grateful.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


I was playing with lighting last night, using the Speedlight SB 800, off camera. Love my boys rolls!!
four and a half months

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Sunday, October 10, 2010

four months

We've been busy enjoying Jonah's birthday week. He had a birthday on Wednesday and since it was during a work week, we waited and had some friends over on Saturday. So between planning for his special day and for his get together I have been busy.
Oliver has been growing and learning so much. He's already 4 months now, since October 2! I can't believe how fast it's going by.
He rolled over yesterday for the first time too. We kind of missed it. One minute he was on his back playing on his playmat, the next Jonah looked over at him and said 'Hey he rolled over'! He was on his belly. We are waiting for him to do it again, but he hasn't yet. He's also getting good at sitting up, even if it's still leaning forward and a little precarious, he started this last week.
Here he is four months old and growing...we took him to the playground yesterday and put him in a big boy swing, he seemed to really like it!

Thursday, October 7, 2010


There is nothing sweeter than holding our sleeping son, and feeling his warm little body mold against mine as I carry him up the stairs. Tucking him in for the night and walking back to our room to pass by his empty bassinet brings sweet memories back. I realize how quickly time has gone by. How yesterday we took him home from the hospital and tomorrow he'll be going off to college. Maybe that's a huge leap but it is passing all too quickly.
My heart has so many good memories that fill me up to overflowing. The love I share for our child is amazing. Maybe it's the unbelievable amount of trust he has in us his parents. The unconditional love and reliance on us. I've never been responsible for something or someone so completely helpless. It's amazing.
I can't help but relate this relationship to the one I share with Christ. How much greater does He love me? Can I even fathom that. Am I utterly helpless without Him? Do I cry out to Him and know in my heart He is right there comforting me and loving me without fail?
My heart is going through some changes and I'm grateful. I want to grow. I want to need Him more. I want what He wants for me.
I'm thankful for what He is showing me through others. Showing me through our son.
Sometimes my heart feels so full I feel like I could cry. Good tears of joy.
I only pray I can feel this way about all that God has done for me and all He is doing now.