Wednesday, June 30, 2010


Today I took Oliver out all by myself. Jonah has been home with me this summer since he is a teacher he has the whole summer off. It's been wonderful, and I realize how blessed I am to have him with me since most people have to have one spouse go back to work within a couple weeks. I know the Lord worked it out this way and I am forever grateful!
I have been careful about lifting too much weight so Jonah has been the one to tote our little boy in his carseat. This time I was determined to do it myself, allbeit slowly, but just to be sure I could handle the entire trip by myself. We headed out to the grand store of Wallyworld- Walmart. And I managed to shop and carry the carseat- to a nearby cart! Oliver did okay, but started fussing in the store so I ended up taking him out and carrying him in my arm, while pulling the cart. It was only a trip for a few things, thankfully or I would have put him in my sling.  He did much better when I was holding him, so it was a successful trip for us both. I was nervous about being alone with him but it was fun!
I love love love being Oliver's mom. I told that to Jonah last night and he agreed he loves being not just a dad but Oliver's dad. It is truly so much fun, and so rewarding. He is almost a month old (this Friday) and has grown and filled our hearts up. I love getting to know him and I have become accustomed to his ways. My heart is still hurting when I think about someone else watching him- even if it's only 3 days a week when I start back to work in August.
My prayers have been for me to find a way to provide some income for us, without having to have someone watch him. I am praying for peace about going back to work and for strength to get through it. I cried the other night and told Jonah I didn't want to go back to work, and that I didn't think I could. But what choice do we have right now? I don't see another way financially for us to make it. All the more reason to drive us to pay off our remaining debt- student loans as quickly as we can. I can't help but think that I would be able to be home with him if I had never taken out the loans for college. Why do people ever take out loans? I advise everyone I can not to do it...because years down the road you will probably regret it. Money should never be a reason for preventing you from your hearts desire of being at home with your baby.
So I'm determined to do what I can to increase my sales on Etsy...making new products, for at least that will bring a little money in. We are also in the process of starting a new business pursuit, I will have to post about when we become more organized and solid.
I know that there is a definitely a way for us to make money freelancing since we are both designers, artists and photographers. Thankful for that!
Now just to find the energy to do all these things! I think right now that's the challenge for me. The 2a.m. feedings are certainly catching up to me....I'll be more rested when Oliver sleeps through the night. But I know this is a small season in my life and I am more than willing to enjoy these feedings for Oliver. I really do enjoy nursing him and watching him, and listening to his little coos and sighs of content.
Being a mom is so rewarding...and I've only just begun!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Fathers Day

Today was Jonah's first fathers day! What a special day to celebrate. I love my dad and I'm so thankful for him- he is actually going through a lot today due to a kidney stone passing through him. My heart and prayers go out to him since I know it's the equivalent of labor for a man. But this fathers day has made me realize how much more I'm thankful for him as I've been watching Jonah as a dad. He is an amazing father, and has been such a joy to watch with Oliver. It's so natural for him, like second nature. I never really knew what it would be like with us as parents, but watching Jonah and realizing all those years ago that my dad went through many similar experiences has made me appreciate this special day even more.

For a gift I had Oliver help me make a special surprise for Jonah. It wasn't easy to get Oliver's little hand prints on this! I used watercolors and painted his little palms and carefully pressed them on here (this is attempt number 2), he was sleeping when I did this! But in the end I wanted Jonah to have a special print for his desk for work. This was one of the many we took when Oliver was 8 days old. He's now 18 days! My time is flying by!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


Well here we are at about 2 weeks already. Today we had another well visit with the pediatrician and Oliver is doing fabulous. He is over his birth weight now, and he's grown a little over an inch. Already? I didn't know babies grew that fast! We are so happy he's doing so well though and eating plenty. I was concerned about him getting enough to eat since I nurse, but apparently no worries.
What are my thoughts now that we have been with our little boy for two weeks? My where to start.
First of all breastfeeding is really a challenge- and not the latching on part. I was blessed with a good eater and he almost immediately figured out the latching thing. We are still learning but he's doing great. I think just the time it takes and the lack of sleep and the hormone changes are throwing me for a loop. I don't quite feel myself yet- and I am certain it's being tired, somewhat moody, and busy. Busy taking care of him. It is certainly a round the clock thing, which I guess you don't really sit and think about beforehand. Infants are lots of work, but so sweet. We have been waiting to try and schedule him until after he reached his this will be a new challenge!
I'm really learning how to let things 'slide' too. At least not freaking out about the little things, like laundry to be done or cleaning to finish. I think pregnancy prepared me for this- towards the end I didn't feel like doing much. Jonah has been such a help though in all the little things. I am amazed at how well he just took over all the duties I couldn't do. Meals, cleaning, dishes, diaper changes, constantly attending to me and Oliver, I just can't get over how much of a loving help he has been. A c-section has proved to be a lot more recovery time than I anticipated. I guess I didn't really think about it too much, which was a good thing, before I had it done. But I am so thankful that each day I feel stronger and able to do more. The hardest part of everything was not being able to help out as much as I'd like to. But then again, I needed the rest- still do.
I'm finding out that napping is a huge thing on my part. Everyone says sleep when the baby sleeps, and while I don't every time, I have been getting a good solid nap in each day. It's amazing how soundly I can sleep in those hours!
It's so different having a baby at home. No longer are you just two, but three and it changes your world. I love our sweet boy, but I am looking forward to a little more rest! I wonder if that will happen? I am looking forward to so many things in his life too. Like when he will start to laugh or talk back to us, or call us mommy and daddy.
Parenting is a new experience, an unchartered territory, but so much fun too. I love seeing Oliver smile and learn new things, and it's only just begun.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Oliver's photoshoot

Jonah and I are photographers by hobby and have done several paid shoots for people, so of course we are going to have a photoshoot with our own son! We wanted to get one in before he was a week old but managed to get one on day 8- close enough. After a couple poops, pees and a few blankets for the laundry we managed to end up with many many shots that we love. Here are a few from the shoot, isn't he precious!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Love abundantly

Here we are at one week old already. I have to say as the days tick by days and nights are blended together as we adjust to Oliver's feedings, burpings, diaper changes and loving. I had no idea how it would be to have our own baby, our own flesh and blood. And while I carried him for nine months, nothing prepared me for the kind of overwhelming love I would feel for this tiny person. How much love can a person give? I love my family and my dear wonderful husband, I love my God, but this is another kind. I can kind of see a small glimpse of God's love for us and it makes me cry. Joyful tears, grateful tears. I am in awe of this little gift from God and I have to pinch myself and ask if he's real.
It was an adjustment. That first day was surreal, one moment he was in me the next his cries filled the room and I met him, and he met me and Jonah. Hello son, welcome to this big world, what now?
My heart has expanded in one week to change me for a lifetime. I always heard how much a baby changes everything, but didn't expect it to change my heart so much, for so much good. We are humbled to be his parents and raise him up to follow God with a passion and love. To know God and how much he loves us. An overwhelming, never ending, deep as the ocean kind of love.
I don't want to forget these first days, and how precious they are. A time of discovery and growth for all of us. Keep our hearts tender like they are now.
Sweet Oliver, how much you are loved.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Day 6

We are loving our little Oliver. He is so precious and sweet! How much our lives have changed. It's been 6 days now since he's been born and it has passed so quickly. We love just hanging out with him at home. We love love love laying him on our chests and having some skin to skin time with his warm little body and gentle little breathing and cooing it's truly heavenly.
His sweet little face and attentive gaze are engraved in our hearts. He knows us and we have only just begun. He knew our voices from the first moments after he was born. After hearing us for so many months he knew us. How amazing that God made him that way, able to recognize his mom and dad.
We love learning about our little boy and all the things that he likes and I know we have so many more days to look forward to.
His first doctors appt. was today and he did great. He is almost back to his birthweight and we are sooo glad. He's such a good eater. He breastfed that first hour after birth and has been doing great ever since. I'm so thankful for that, since it was a desire of mine to breastfeed exclusively and it's a blessing it's been going so well. I love the moments we spend together just him and I, while he blissfully fills his belly and lets out these little sighs of contentment. It's truly precious.
I am loving being his mommy and I know Jonah is loving being his daddy. And he is a natural too, taking care of his son is second nature. Our little Oliver, we love you!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Oliver Quinn

Here we are at day 6 of Jonah, I and Oliver. We have been home now for two days- since I we were released on Saturday. What a wonderful thing to be home with our boy! We were soooo ready to be gone from the hospital and from the neverending nurses and such. It was nice to call and get whatever we needed but we were ready to go. Oh yes, our son's name!
His name is Oliver Quinn, and he was born via emergency c-section on June 2 and 2:06 p.m. He weighed in at 7lbs. 10 oz. and was 19.5" long. How do I remember all those details when I can't even remember what I did an hour ago? I think it's that built in mommy radar that will forever record things about our son. Looking back it's crazy how fast everything has happened. I am still receiving pregnancy week emails telling me to prepare for labor and how week 40 is, and it's so funny to me to think we made it through the birth, the big moment we have been counting down for so long. It's so amazing to have our son here with us, and regardless of the fact that I had big plans for a natural birth, God's ways are not always my ways. I am in pain from it, it wasn't an easy little procedure, but I know that this was God's planning all along. Hearing his first cries brought tears to my own eyes-I was finally hearing our son, the waited for little gift! When he was born Jonah was able to take pictures throughout the whole surgery, which I thought would be kinda gory to look at, but I am so glad to watch it all, since they put a sheet up in front of me. I was able to see everything, and he was pulled out of me butt first!  I also did get to experience part of real labor, since I was contracting all morning and reached 3 cent. before surgery. My those pains hurt! After the doctor broke my water it got even worse, and I remember that I couldn't wait for the anesthesia (epidural) to happen so I could get some relief. What a wimp I was! Would I have made it all the way if it was safe for me to naturally deliver? Jonah believes I would have, but it would have been a long hard wait til baby was born! I am so glad that he and I were able to take our birthing classes and be so well informed about everything taking place in labor, it truly eased my mind and fears just about not knowing. My doctor also assured me next time around I could certainly try for a natural delivery again with no problems.
I was thinking all this time that our son needed to turn so he wouldn't be breech and I wouldn't need a c-section, but in the end guess what? It was okay, and he's here safe and sound in our arms and filling our hearts.
We also found out during the c-section that his cord had somehow wrapped around into a huge knot, which may have made a natural birth complicated very quickly. Isn't it amazing how God knew this and perhaps that's why our son never turned- it could have been dangerous for him. Praise God for His ways.

And not to end without some new beautiful pictures, Here is our little Oliver,  which means peace, and my how peaceful he is!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Welcome to the world!

He is here! I can't believe it, today was such a whirlwind day. We had our doctor appt. scheduled for late this afternoon which would tell us if he had turned or not, and I ended up starting my day with contractions. I went into work, since it was my last day before maternity leave and sent Jonah back home to grab our bags for us since my contractions were definitely not Braxton Hicks. After calling my doctor and being told to head to the hospital we did....not really knowing today would be the day.
I had the nurses check his position, praying for a turn, and they told us yes he was head down...We were thrilled and ready to labor naturally to delivery... Until my doctor came by and double checked with an ultrasound herself. This was after she had broken my water to be sure of his position (I was dilated at a 3). And to our shock he was still breech. So in the end it was kind of up and down since we were praising the Lord for a turn, but ended up he didn't turn.
After that we pretty much went straight to the operating table for a c section. I think because it was so fast I didn't have a lot of time to think, hey I'm about to meet our son. Since we were thinking we wouldn't actually meet him til the weekend.
But there we were together in surgery, and Jonah was able to take photos and be there to see his son enter the world. I saw the photos too, of the whole thing and it didn't scare me or make me queasy. It was actually pretty neat. He came out butt first! How funny was that!
But the first time I saw him he was so perfect and pink and clean and so beautiful. It's amazzzing to finally meet this little one  that was curled up in my womb all these months. I am still baffled that he fit in there, sure was squooshed up!
But he is here and I can here him breathing next to me, so grateful for him, for my loving husband  (who is handling everything like a pro, even the diaper changes) and for this gift. God truly worked out everything again and I can't look back with regrets because I know how much these moments have been prayed for.
Oh yes his name, I will share that next time and hopefully more details, right now I'm avoiding too many keys on the keyboard since it's just balanced to not hurt me!
What a blessing it is to meet him though after all this time, and on his own schedule!