Monday, July 26, 2010


I'm so exhausted. I realized that today as I watched Oliver finally settle down for a nap and I plopped down on our bed. After some interrupted text messages from my phone (must remember to silence it when I nap next time) I didn't really get much of a nap.
I thought I could manage and be superwoman after Oliver was born, but boy oh boy was I in for a shocker! Between the c-section, nursing, moving into a new home, nursing, unpacking, nursing, unpacking, errands to pick up needed items, cleaning, unpacking, nursing, cleaning our old apartment, unpacking here, more cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, unpacking, did I mention nursing?
I feel like I am not catching up on sleep....which means I get grumpy and I hate that. I tend to over-exaggerate when I'm tired, emotionally. Everything seems so much bigger and harder when I'm tired.
Today I just prayed and asked Jesus to hold me up, because I can't do it anymore. Maybe I should have prayed that a long time ago, and maybe I should have listened to more people telling me to take it easy...but it's been hard to do that since there are things that must be done.
Jonah. What a wonderful man. Can I just dote on him for the rest of the day? He has been such a hard working, helpful and loving supportive man. What a wonderful dad he is, and husband to me. He has been breaking his back (is that a phrase?) pulling the load of two or more people. Between all the moving ( he moved us and our neighbor/landlord as part of a deal for us to move earlier and not have to pay extra rent), all the diaper duties, and bringing Oliver to me in the beginning when I couldn't move, and all the unpacking, re arranging, fixing things, mowing our lawn and our neighbor in 100 degree weather, and picking up extra work- which means extra money for us, he has been so strong and helpful and I'm so very very thankful for him. I feel horrible when I have a grumpy butt attitude, and then I complain. Then I feel horrible again. I just need to stop and breathe and realize the unpacking and last little things (shelf hanging, painting etc.) will still be there ready for us when we get to it. No hurry. I just have to tell myself no hurry. Nevermind if I wanted to host a gathering here this month- guess I can push it to next month. Nevermind my family is coming here in August. Nevermind I start back in work in August. Nevermind our schedule is about to completely change with us both going to work again.
Sigh, trying not to get overwhelmed here.
I know now why they say the first few months are so exhausting....

Okay I have kept a semi private blog throughout my pregnancy and I just went back and read a post that really encouraged me, it's amazing to think back to those preggo days and realize how quickly the time is flying by now that our precious boy is here in our arms. Here's the post from May 1- almost a month before he was born:


into the world

It was another night of little sleep for me. So I finally ended up getting up around 7 this morning on a Saturday. I was looking through photoshoots of professional newborn photographers and it struck me that Jonah and I are going through the easy part right now as we prepare for our baby's birth. I'm sad in a way that he will be born- as funny as that sounds, because he will then be out here in this big world. A scary world, but lovely too. It's then the real work begins. No more concerns over coordinated bedding and cute little clothes, how to swaddle, or where we will set up the crib. It's time to start training our son, leading him and showing him how much God loves him.
My what a big responsibility that is. I love our son, with all his little movements and his unknown face. I love him for how safe and warm he is right now, and I'm thinking ahead to when he will be here. No longer in the womb and I wonder if it's normal to feel a sense of loss, that he will no longer be with me in that sense again. I can only pray for God's presence throughout the birth and next phase of our life. That He fills me again- not to be pregnant right away, but to be ready to train up our son.
So many emotions are present in a pregnancy it can be overwhelming. Overwhelmed at how much I can love him and he's not here yet. Will we be good parents? I don't doubt that, I know we will love him and care for him to the best of our ability. Jonah is such a good husband and friend, I know he will be an amazing father. We have the capability to love so strongly- because God loves us. He is the only one that can fill us with what we need, so we can give that back.
So I'll wait to welcome our son into this world,  into our arms, and hearts and I'll treasure the days, as I know they will pass so quickly, much like the past 9 months!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Seven weeks

It's been seven weeks already, and our Oliver is growing and thriving each day. We are having so much fun being parents, regardless of the little sleep. It's funny how whenever we take him out strangers like to ooh and ahh over him, and those few that have been there ask, " Are you getting any sleep?". To which I reply, "Not really!" But it is so worth it. I know these days will be gone before we know it and he will be running around and we'll miss his babyhood.  So I'm trying to savor the moments, the cuddling, the sleeping baby on my chest, the soothing when he has a bellyache, the warm little bundle that we have grown to love so dearly.
In the move to our new house I packed up his baby book and have yet to uncover I wanted to post some milestones for him through his first 7 weeks of life. See if I can remember:
Around week 2 or so he started smiling, big happy smiles.
Around week 5 he started having spit bubbles- producing more saliva in his glands I suppose.
Around week 6 he started noticing his toys and really started looking at them.
Yesterday on week 7 he reached up to me- I swear he did, because just when I thought he had just been flinging his hand around, he did it again, up to my face while looking at me and smiling and cooing. So precious!
His favorite things right now are definitely his swing with the little mobile that goes around. I put him in it and he lights up and just stares up at the mobile waiting for it to go! He will literally start smiling sometimes when he's looking at it. His baths are now so relaxing for him, and I know he likes them. Tonight I was rewarded with some smiles during it as I scrubbed him up. He loves to be talked to, he has since day one, he'll just look up and stare at you and add in his own little coos. I love hearing him! I thought I'd never say this about our own child but even his cries can sound cute to me. We are learning how to interpret his different cries, and have discovered his hurt one, whining one, and tired one. Tonight we discovered his- I'm just hungry one.
It's amazing being his mommy, and I'm so thankful for our gift from God. What's more amazing to me is that God loves us even more than we as parents love our little boy. What an awesome thought!

Monday, July 19, 2010

aww life

My where has the summer gone? It is flying by so fast I can't believe it. But I always welcome the fall. It's amazing how you think you aren't ready to move on in life but as it goes by you find yourself ready for the next thing. I guess God made us that way, to take it one day at a time so that we don't get sick of something, kind of like the mannah he provided for the children of Israel.
I'm finding myself looking ahead to when the school year will start up and I'll be going back to work. How much different our life will be when we get back into the work world. It's been so nice to share our time together at home, I know we are blessed to be together- all three of us all summer.
I'm praying I'll be 'ready' when I do go back, with few tears and sadness :( I know it will be hard but I'm thankful I am only working 3 days a week, with hope and effort that I can minimize that even more in the near future. I know God has a plan for me and Jonah and Oliver and right now I'm just trusting we are making the right choice.
On another note, I'm loving being in a house. So much different from apartment living! Having room to spread out is amazing, we were so cramped in our little tiny space. I can finally put all of Oliver's things in his own room, and yesterday my dear sweet husband put together his lovely crib. I love it! I think Oliver does too, we turned on his mobile and he just looked and looked and smiled, and turned and checked out his fabulous bedding as well, I think he likes it!
Right now he's still near our bed in his bassinet but his day is coming soon when he'll sleep in his very own crib! So we have been slowly but surely making progress unpacking and unpacking and moving things around. So much fun to decide where we want everything to go! I can't wait until we unpack and get to finish the last touches- the pretty accents that make this home ours.
Here's a photo of Oliver in his new digs :) and we also wanted him to see what he thought of his giraffe toy- he won't be riding for a while, but oh so cute.

Friday, July 16, 2010


We are home! At least moved into our new home. It's been a crazy CRAZY week so far. We had the wonderful help of family on Monday as we carted all our stuff-where it all came from I have no idea- from the apartment to our new house. My it was backbreaking to say the least. I guess everytime you move you forget how hard it is, kind of like giving birth right? Nah, I still remember everything about that :)
Oliver was a champ as always and did pretty well except for the evening, poor thing. Our move lasted from when we got up - last minute packing of kitchen items, and running to pick up the moving truck, and then proceeded up until around 11 at night. In between fighting some rain storms, and then when we arrived at our house laying down blankets to put our stuff on, it was crazy. Yes the blankets were needed because our carpet had been cleaned and it was still wet! So that was another added twist to our day.
I think it was so much harder this time because I couldn't do as much, and what I did do was so tiring since I was in between nursing and going on little sleep. Oliver is thriving and gaining so well, but he nurses about every 3 hours, which means little sleep for me and Jonah. I love nursing him and really am thankful he's such a great eater :) I keep reminding myself this is only a small season in my life, and what a great healthy choice for him.
We celebrated our six week milestone as well. Oliver is six weeks already! I am six weeks recovered too, and feel so much better even from last week. Maybe all those flights of stairs I went up and down during moving day helped me out. But it has flown by so quickly, and is filled with many memories and photos. I'm so glad we took so many pics and videos those first couple weeks because already he's changed and has gotten bigger!
So we are in our new place, new life and I'm very thankful for how God has abundantly blessed us. I know I complain sometimes of the work and tiredness but I am so very very grateful for everything I have. Now to unpack the boxes that await me...

Tuesday, July 6, 2010


I'm so thankful that I was born in America. It's not something I chose but where God placed me. I think about others in foreign lands that don't have the same privileges I do. Freedom. The word makes me stop and give thanks. To those that fought for it, for my sake and those that live in the US of A. It's easy to take it for granted, I know. I've never personally had to engage in active war or hide from terrorists or dictators. I've never had to hide the Bible or what I believe in...That statement alone makes me even more thoughtful. If I've never had to hide it, why am I not more open to sharing it with others? I'm ashamed at myself and how isolated I make myself. I guess this is a rabbit trail that I don't need to take right now. But it's something that is definitely in my heart and something I will come back to at another time.
But for the fourth we went to church, then to a church cookout afterwards. It was Oliver's first church event and he slept like a champ. I only had to leave service at the end to feed him, otherwise he did great. I do love my sling, he sleeps curled up in it, plus it prevents others from touching his face and hands- yes I'm a little paranoid.
But Oliver's aunt gave him a fourth outfit, so we had to take some pictures! No fireworks for Oliver this year, but Jonah and I did get to see our own little show from the balcony of our apartment! From the east and west we saw different displays- it was so clear we had a great view and we didn't have to leave home! Next year will be different, that will be fun with a one year old!

Friday, July 2, 2010

One month

Our Oliver is one month old today!