After Christmas news

Here we are a couple days after Christmas and I have such nice, loving memories of our first Christmas together as a new family...with our little boy with us.
But my thoughts are not there tonight. My heart is with my dad.
News this morning that he went to the hospital because he may have had a mini stroke. I about fell over when I read that text from my sister early this morning. Calls immediately followed and I learned he and my mom went to the hospital because he was having numbness in his arm and slurred speech.
Fast forward to now, he is doing okay and everything has returned back to normalcy. He is admitted and staying overnight for more tests, but so far the catscan came back good with no signs of stroke. My mom feels he had a TIA (I believe it's called) which is a small mini stroke.
I can't even believe I am writing about stroke.
I updated my facebook today with status of this and again my mind didn't seem to wrap around it. Isn't this kind of language something you use for much older people?? Say if my dad was 90? He is in his late fifties.
It's been quite a day.
Amazing how quickly your whole world changes in a matter of seconds. My mind read over those words and my heart stopped. My dad.
My parents live up in New York. That's a long way from Georgia.
We weren't able to fly there this Christmas because of the money it would take for us to get there. So we were here in GA. I have been praying for a way to visit them and I know God will provide it in time.
But it sure didn't make it easier to be here when this happened.
I sent out a book to my dad this Christmas that is a Grandparents journal. Having Oliver in our lives has made me realize even more how much I want my son to know my dad. I want those strings to be tied and woven for years to come. But the distance is hard! My dad hasn't even met little Oliver yet. My mom and sister and her family came to visit in the summer, but truthfully my dad has been searching for work for quite some time and hasn't been able to find any. Money has been hard to come by for them and I wish Jonah and I had so much more so that we could give it to them.
So my mom flew 'solo' without him to meet her new little grandbaby. I have been eagerly awaiting the day my dad can also meet Oliver and I pray it's not too far.
But my heart was so fearful, so sad, scared....I didn't cry immediately. I went through motions telling Jonah, stopping to pray.
Then walking downstairs to see my mother and father in law in the kitchen (we stayed at their house a couple days). I told them the news and almost immediately started crying. Your brain and heart do funny things in situations that scare and shake you. I guess it took a moment for me to really believe it, until I was telling others about it, then suddenly it made it real.
I love my inlaws. They are such sweet, loving people and immediately stopped to pray with me, standing there crying with Oliver on my hip- content little boy in his warm pj's not aware of his mommy's pain.
It was a time I needed that. I needed to just stop and be surrounded by His presence for a moment. Know He was in control of something I cannot touch.
I am still praying my way through this.
My dad is doing good, but I still have that gateway of fear opened. I'm trying to keep trusting in the Lord with all my heart. It's hard. Satan is working to get me to fear. A place I am weak in. My fears often take over and turn to worry, to anxiety. An ongoing battle in my life. So I am praying and pleading for God's peace, will, guidance, and healing. How great is our God. Truly how GREAT is He?
I am thankful this happened at a time when my mom was there to help my dad. It happened after Christmas, so they could enjoy the holiday together. It happened early in the day so that it wasn't the middle of the night. They made it safely to the hospital despite all the storms of snow up and around them. And tonight my dad and mom are safe.
This is a trial for them. And I wonder why? They have been through a lot these past couple years. It's not been easy. And I know that God has been cutting and trimming them, like you would a pattern. He has something He is making, something beautiful. And I don't know if He will show us the final result here on earth, but I pray for strength to trust Him through it now.
I love my dad. I love him so much, and I am so very very thankful for him in my life. If I learn anything out of all this, I think I am again realizing how precious life is. How each day is truly something to be thankful for. How trials come, but they cannot and should not rob us of our joy. Jesus is joy. He brings it, gives it, and is it.
I'll post more about Christmas another day, but tonight my heart is elsewhere. It's heavenly and upward, leaning hard on Him, and it's northward, thinking of my dear parents.