Tuesday, July 12, 2011

our new pursuit

Our business.
The little thing I've been talking about for months is here. It's now.
Today we launched our 'site'.
The Black Sheep Studio.
You can also find us on facebook!
I'm so excited to start this, although it's been officially started for a few years. We were shooting sessions years ago, perhaps with hope that it would someday become a business. Now here we are, with more experience behind us, and a passion to continue on with it.
I pray over this new start as it's exciting but also a little scary to step out and be in the public eye. It's a very competitive world, and well area. There are so many starting up their own photography businesses that it's a little overwhelming.
I'm not the cheesy marketer that tries to promote special buys and great specials for things. Especially for photography. It feel so much more personal to me. I take it as a life experience. Being a part of someones life is well, personal.  It can't help but be that.
And I know that it's probably not a good thing to not want to market as much as you can...
But I know it's exciting to do this now, to see where we go with it. Who we meet, who we tell the world about.
Won't you pray for us as we embark on this start?

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Home with my men

It's been a lovely week. This past week was my first full week of being an official stay at home mom. There was a little fear in doing this. Fear of no longer relying on my income to get us through the months, fear of getting restless at being at home. However I can tell you I am not afraid. Having been home now for a bit, I know it's right. I know that I didn't make the wrong decision, or feel led that way.
I know it's where I am supposed to be.
This past week I had moments when I would allow my mind to look ahead to the future, and I would worry for a moment....but then I would see my sweet boy. Holding him in my arms as I carried him upstairs to bed brought in a wave of peace at this simple moment. How right it felt. Me being at home with him is almost more glorious than I thought! I love knowing I will be able to train him daily, that he will be with me to learn everyday things. This little man that we are training up will learn from us- and what we allow into his life. It's a great and awesome responsibility.
I was able to stop my mind from racing each night as I went into auto mode thinking about all the things I would have to prepare for my day at work the next day.  I realized again and again I wasn't going into work, and again there was that peace.
I never realized how all consuming it was even working 3 days a week. The juggling of my time, and the prep work it took to keep our home flowing as I was home every other day was tough. I take so much pleasure in keeping our home orderly, keeping it clean, keeping the pantry and fridge stocked, and our meals planned.
I'm excited to work harder at all of these tasks, as I haven't had the time to do so for years. I have a list of things that I am looking forward to checking off such as going through my closet and our rooms to get rid of things we can sell- every little bit helps!- and I know we have so much STUFF just sitting and being unused. Why keep it?
I am also looking forward to pursuing our business. It is photography and design and something we are passionate about. The design focus being my shop the itsybitsy store, and the photography part for now focusing on children, maternity and newborn. I'm soo excited to launch this!
Jonah's support in all of this has been absolutely amazing. I thank God for him, but also for the unity He has provided for us as we walk daily seeking His will.
I have already been able to see God providing for us in ways that I would have never dreamed of. Little things here and there assuring us of His provision. His love, His care.
My heart is so peaceful where I am right now. I am so very grateful for this, and truly there is no other place I'd be.
Above all I am so honored that God chose me to be Oliver's mom. Knowing that he will grow up with me there at home with him, knowing that I am there with him daily is such a blessing.
my men!

sweet happy boy

oliver
Being a wife and being a mom are roles that I take so much joy in. Thank you God for how GOOD you are!!

happy independence day! (a little late)

Happy 4th of July! I am late at posting this as it's already nearly a week after, but I thought I'd share some photos from our 2nd Independence day with Oliver. My how did a year go by so quickly??
Oliver watching daddy water our garden, and our door!

praying for breakfast. Oliver has learned how to fold his hands for prayer, so cute.

whole wheat oat pancakes with fresh berries, yummo.


sweet friends we hung out with that night.

sweet friends who opened their home to us for the fourth!

first time with sparklers!





sparkler fun!

this was how Oliver was playing with the trucks, walking along behind them, such a  big boy!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Summertime

Where have we been? Yes, I realize that much time has gone by since I posted. Summer is here! But I haven't had the chance to really feel like it is yet!
A little over a week ago we got back from our mission trip to the Dominican Republic. This was a 9 day trip that was so eye-opening and heart changing. What I saw, experienced and felt during those days is definitely something that I will carry with me all my life. It was such an amazing trip. It was also the first time I left Oliver anywhere overnight, and he stayed with his grandparents during the nine days. I was so nervous about this, but once we were there, I found that I was so busy I didn't have much time to be sad. I missed him terribly, but the time with Jonah and the time serving definitely helped. I know that the Lord provided the grace and strength to help me with that. That small detail that I dreaded, the thought of leaving our son behind, was on my mind and heart for weeks, months even, leading up to our departure.
Now here I am on the other side of it all, with our son back at home, our life back to 'normal' and I'm so grateful I was able to go. Would I go again? I think it is always hard to say 'yes' for all those fears and naggings about letting go of what's comfortable and 'safe'. But I NEED to go again. That's my answer.
I can't believe what I saw. What I learned. What I learned about God, about others, about Jonah.
It was awesome indeed.
Now here we are back in our home, back at my job, and back to life in the states.
Our lives are anything but 'normal' lately though.
I am about to end my job of 3 years, to start my other job- staying at home with our dear boy. This decision is on of faith. Much faith and prayer. I am so excited to start this role, as it's been my hearts desires for years. I am also excited to see how God will provide for us, as I know He will. Where He guides He provides!
It's been an incredible year. So much has changed in our lives this year, in comparison to last year.
Starting with our change in churches, our change of heart, spiritually, at the start of the year, our focus on serving, missions, using our talents for Christ, our renewed passion in photography, our faith based decisions, and our unity in all of this.
It's been a GOOD year. It's been a growing year, and I'm so thankful for that. I can see how God is shaping and directing us, and my only concern is that I continue to allow Him to do this. That I don't again become self-centered, and too scared to step out and trust Him. There is freedom in faith that is unlike anything else I've ever known. And in the worlds's eyes this is hard to understand. But truly it is so liberating.
Let go and just let Him lead!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

One year

Okay here we are, two days out until we head off to the Domincan Republic.
I can't believe it's here already.
This past week flew by. We celebrated our sweet little boy's first birthday. One years old. Really? Where did the last year go!!
I can still remember those first few days of just taking in the sight, smell and sound of him. Us, parents. It was hard to believe, as it seemed to happen so quickly. You go from not knowing what to expect with a newborn, to REALLY not knowing what you are doing as a parent, to wondering what you did before he was ever in your life.
Oh we still have so many moments of 'figuring' things out, praying our way, asking for wisdom from God over and over, and learning that no our kid is not like every single other baby out there, when it comes to some stuff. No, we have so much to learn, and certainly have not arrived. But, we did it. We got through our first year, and you know what? We did okay.
Yes, God is so good to supply us with the knowledge and wisdom along the way, the patience and love, the endurance, the ability to function on little sleep, the quick mind to make split decisions, the strength to stand up and say no when needed, the determination to stand for our choices in matters, the tenderness only a parents heart holds, eyes to take in each moment, and an open heart- continually being filled up with love for this treasure.
What a gift it is to be a parent. I love being a mommy, I love being a parent along with Jonah, to Oliver. He  has tapped a place in my heart that I never knew existed. It makes me mindful again and again of what God must feel for us. Even though the scope of what we feel is much smaller, that makes it even more wonderfully overwhelming to think of how much God loves us, and how much He treasures us.
Yes we've learned a lot this year. We did things we never thought we'd be doing, or saying (our conversations sure did pick up some interesting things this year!) things we never thought we'd be discussing so often and so openly- that having a baby brings into your life.
It's been a whirlwind of a year, and I've loved every moment.
Now as we look ahead to year two, I'm eager and ready for it. This parenting thing is...dare I say... fun!
Every day there are new expressions, new sounds, new things to learn. It's like opening a gift everytime we get rewarded with a smile or a laugh. How good it is for the soul- this I never expected. A child gives so much without a clue they are giving.
Thank you Lord for this sweet little boy that has filled us up! I think I've grown just by watching this little boy grow, by watching my husband grow as a father and I'm thankful.
I am about to embark on a 'new' role as I leave my job out in the work world and embrace the role God has given to me- my hearts desire, to stay at home with Oliver.
This decision has been one I prayed for. We prayed for over and over and God said that now it's time.
This I am sure of. I have so much peace, and Jonah has lead the way. We sought God for an answer and He met us. How thankful I am for my God that speaks and leads. (You can read more about it here: http://pouredforth.wordpress.com/)
And so I will be a mom, I will be a wife, I'll be a home maker. And you know what? To me there isn't anything greater than this, to train up our child, to run our home, to be available as a wife, mom and friend. I'm excited for the opportunity to minister to others, but mostly to be the woman that God has called me to be. I almost want to jump up and down when I think about it all, I have that bubbly excitement in me that knows the peace and joy that come with following God in a decision.
For now though, I'm looking ahead at the upcoming mission trip. With this also come a goodbye for 9 days to our sweet boy. Am I gonna have a hard time? It's funny because soooo many people keep telling me exactly this- how much I'll miss Oliver, how hard it will be, how rough it will be. And I keep thinking, "really? way to be encouraging people..."
And I'm not being naive. I know it will be tough, I'll miss that little boy. But this decision too was made in faith that this is what God called me to do. I needed to say yes. So I did. And we'll be off on Monday to the DR. And we'll be thinking of that little boy back home with our family, but we'll know he's loved and cared for. And I'm eager and ready to get on that plane, not because of my own doing, no, the fearful Carrie says, " no! stay home, stay with Oliver, don't step out of your safe little home!" but my heart that wants to serve Jesus first says, "go". And that's the part that anxiously can't wait to get there, to see what God has for us, what He wants to show us, teach us. And I'm ready for that.
So for now, farewell, until we are back. What an update that is sure to be.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

no life doesn't slow down

It's been a while since I've updated this. My how life is fast and full.
May is almost over! We celebrated our 6 year anniversary this month. How special it is to share year number six with this wonderful man by my side. He is an amazing friend, leader, daddy to our son,and love of my life. Sharing this year with our son in our lives was even more special. I am blessed to know Jonah, and to have the honor of being by his side. I learn so much from being with him. I learn how to love deeper, care more, listen more, show more compassion, hold my tongue more, be a better friend, have a deeper faith, and on it goes. He's my knight in shining armor and say that without any cheesiness intended. Truly, my romantic, loving, manly man fills me up to overflowing, and I am so thankful for him.
Now here we are at the end of May, looking closely at June.
I knew May would be crazy, but I also knew June would run right into it without much chance of life slowing down. I can see that is happening now. Here we are on the verge of welcoming June, and I can hardly believe it.
June.
What does this mean?
It means we head of to the DR for a mission trip. It means Oliver stays behind with our in-laws for 9 days. It means Oliver turns ONE! It means I turn 30! It means work ends, summer begins. It means Oliver is weaned.
Is that enough to keep one busy?
Wow, I thought my mind would be spinning at this point, but I'm doing okay.
Next weekend we will drive to my in-laws, settle our son in with them and drive to the airport to fly out for 9 days. I can hardly believe that it's here almost upon us.
Surprisingly I'm doing okay.
I know it will be tough driving away, flying away, and sleeping away from our son, but I know that I have been preparing for this too. God has been graciously stepping in, lovingly filling me with His presence, His Spirit and calming my spirit in the process. I have been praying for this trip, for the people we will minister to, for the people that will be going on the trip, for safety, for sweet Oliver who will be back here in the states.
And I'm still getting ready.
I have been praying for this trip, for myself especially. I know my heart will miss our son, but I am also ready to see what God has for me. What He has to teach me, how He can use me. I'm also excited about the time with my husband. It will be just us (plus 28 other people). Just us, without Oliver there. And while we'll miss him, it will also be a growing experience for us to go and do this together.
I'm so thankful that we are able to do this. For the way the details of this trip have been orchestrated. Truly God keeps taking care of everything, right down to weaning Oliver. Our passports are in hand, another answer to prayer as we weren't sure they would arrive in time. And we are ready.
Oh our bags have yet to be packed, and the house is yet to be locked up, but when we get to that point it will be time. In my mind, in my heart it will be time.
I have felt that God has been preparing me step by step for this trip. And with each step comes peace. Peace that another item is checked off. Peace that the days are creeping closer. It's been amazing and I didn't expect it. I am learning what it's like to live your life in faith, to live your life trusting in God to meet you and lead you when you come to the end of yourself, the end of what you feel your limits are. He lifts you up and takes you even farther out over the edge of the mountain than you thought you could go. It's truly an elated feeling knowing that He is providing and guiding you.
There is no place else I would rather be.
And so we count down now. To June.
It will begin this week. Let it roll in!



Thursday, May 5, 2011

easter and such

We had a lovely Easter together. It's hard to believe that it was a couple weeks ago! Now here we are in May and my how it's flying by.
Our little Oliver is now 11 months and his big one year birthday is creeping closer and closer. He's learned soo much in these past couple months, it's been amazing. He crawls (army mostly, although he forgets he's on his knees sometimes), pulls up, crawled up a step and kept going with daddy behind him, eats more of what we eat (chunkier food), stands up in his crib, claps, mimics our faces and noises, says mama and dada clearly to us, waves of course, signs 'all done', and is working on tooth #4.
Goodness I never knew he would change so much SO quickly. Those rolly polly thighs, arms and cheeks are starting to thin out, sadly enough. I knew he wouldn't be a chunka monka forever. And I know that's a good thing!
We are counting down the days now until we leave for our DR mission trip. Well, maybe not counting down, just being very aware that it will be here before we know it. I'm still nervous about leaving our little boy behind for 9 days, but God has been working in my heart to prepare me and I know that once we are there, it will be peaceful and confirming. I'm looking forward to what God has for us there, how He will use us and those He will bring our way. I am also looking forward to the time 'alone' with Jonah. We have never been overnight somewhere without the little chunk, so it will be a growing experience all around. And serving God together is such a blessing. I am so thankful for a husband that leads on with a passion for Christ.
Our Easter was so nice, and we didn't get Oliver a basket- oh horrors, right? Not that I'm against it, all the candy and such, whatever. No I'm not an advocate of the Easter bunny persay, and we won't be teaching Oliver that he exists. I never once believed in him growing up, I only knew of Jesus and the tomb and how He rose again. I did get a chocolate bunny and a basket with treats though, and it was fun. So maybe when he's older, we'll see. We did go to a sunrise service together which was beautiful. I loved being outdoors to see that beautiful morning light and to picture what it must have been like all those years ago when the Mary's walked to the tomb. I think it will be a nice tradition to go to a sunrise service every year. I would even like to try the ones that are even earlier- we had ours at 7:30.
Here are a few shots of our sweet boy, getting all grown up, and a few random ones too.