Monday, August 8, 2011

the stay at home mom

Oh Oliver.
Looks like my hands will be full! (little stinker climbed up while my back was turned)

Last week was the first time I was officially home alone with Oliver as a 'stay at home mom'. My hearts desire was fulfilled so graciously by the Lord. He answered 'yes' to my request after Jonah and I took it to Him in prayer. He answered 'yes' in a very real and big way. It was awesome, and humbled me, to think that He does listen, and He does answer sometimes in a very big way. And He does love us so very much.
Now here I am living it out. Wow! There were moments when my brain kept skipping ahead, thinking I would have to do this or that to prepare for the next day, when I realized that I would be home to actually do that the next day. These moments happened when I thought about Oliver too. That almost too good to be true feeling that I would often dream about in the past, is happening now!
I have so many plans for things I want to teach him, train him, show him.
Now as I am getting into this new role daily, I am finding that there is one problem. No clear schedule yet.
I'm not a big schedule person- at least a very detailed exact one. When it comes to Oliver, I have always worked to keep him on a schedule and I found that this was the very best thing for him. He thrives on it. Consistency is key to happiness.
Clever hmm? I just made that one up. But really I believe it has played a huge part in his content attitude. He knows when he'll eat, when he'll nap, when he'll go to bed.
Now throw me into the equation.
What exactly do my days entail? I haven't been consistent. I have a list of things in my mind that need to be done. I have the everyday things that need to be done too. I have the list of activities I want to do with Oliver. I want to have time just playing with him. But I also want him to know that I won't be able to play all day long.
I didn't realize really how important it was to plan out things. I don't feel productive when I bounce from task to task, and don't get to finish one.
So my goal and prayer for now is to get a daily schedule. To actually write it out loosely and stick to it for at least a week or two. I know this will not only benefit me, but Oliver as well. He'll learn to go with it, just like he did for his own schedule.
Oh organization you kill me.
Perhaps this is one area that God knew I needed to work on, and now it's staring at me in the face!
So my venture begins. I'm thrilled to be there for Oliver. To be there for Jonah. In a very different way than I ever have. Opening these new doors wide open, into faith, learning and motherhood.

1 comment:

kauffeegrl said...

If it makes you feel any better I still struggle with the same thing. Other than meals and naps, each day seems to have it's own unique rhythm and while I still have goals I try to achieve (more Bible story time with Jack, getting out for a walk in the morning, more outside play time) at the end of the day you realize that the most important thing is you were THERE. You didn't miss a second of their lives. And that makes it all worth everything.